|Why It’s Critical That You Trust Your Children9/4/2015|
By Eliane, founder of Parenting For Wholeness
I was reflecting yesterday on something I feel REALLY STRONGLY about, which I want to share with you today. Gaby on the Skydeck in Chicago’s Ellis Tower. She’s a pretty fearless young woman! I’m glad she has good instincts so I can trust her to know her limits.
Because it’s what’s been key to my being able to sleep at night with 3 teenage daughters.
And not worry when my daughters sadly move far away from me.
This all started when I was chatting with a wonderful mom whom I hadn’t seen in a few years.
Though there are many ways in which our parenting is similar, a core difference was highlighted in our conversation and her interactions with her daughter. Our 15 and 16 year old daughters were heading to the local yogurt shop and the mom insisted that her daughter take a sweater in case she got cold, in spite her daughter’s assurance that she’d be okay.
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Though this mom is also a very loving, attached and attuned parent, she is a lot more directive and protective with her daughter than I’ve been with my three.
At some point in our conversation, whilst praising my parenting, work and the results I’ve had with my daughters, she said something that inspired this article.
She said that she didn’t allow her daughter to be as free as I allow mine, because she wasn’t willing to experience the potential consequences of that.
Her statement really stayed with me.
I found myself pondering it a lot afterwards.
And felt compelled to express my perspective.
What I feel very strongly about and could have replied to her this wonderful mom is:
“I’m not willing to experience the consequences of NOT trusting my daughters. Of making their decisions for them. Of having them rely on me to guide their decisions and monitor what they do.”
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