Why It’s Critical That You Trust Your Children

Why It’s Critical That You Trust Your Children9/4/2015
By Eliane, founder of Parenting For Wholeness

I was reflecting yesterday on something I feel REALLY STRONGLY about, which I want to share with you today. Gaby on the Skydeck in Chicago’s Ellis Tower. She’s a pretty fearless young woman! I’m glad she has good instincts so I can trust her to know her limits.
Because it’s what’s been key to my being able to sleep at night with 3 teenage daughters.

And not worry when my daughters sadly move far away from me. 

This all started when I was chatting with a wonderful mom whom I hadn’t seen in a few years. 

Though there are many ways in which our parenting is similar, a core difference was highlighted in our conversation and her interactions with her daughter. Our 15 and 16 year old daughters were heading to the local yogurt shop and the mom insisted that her daughter take a sweater in case she got cold, in spite her daughter’s assurance that she’d be okay.
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Though this mom is also a very loving, attached and attuned parent, she is a lot more directive and protective with her daughter than I’ve been with my three. 

At some point in our conversation, whilst praising my parenting, work and the results I’ve had with my daughters, she said something that inspired this article.

She said that she didn’t allow her daughter to be as free as I allow mine, because she wasn’t willing to experience the potential consequences of that.

Her statement really stayed with me.

I found myself pondering it a lot afterwards.

And felt compelled to express my perspective.

What I feel very strongly about and could have replied to her this wonderful mom is:

“I’m not willing to experience the consequences of NOT trusting my daughters. Of making their decisions for them. Of having them rely on me to guide their decisions and monitor what they do.”

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About S. R. Zelenz 119 Articles
S.R. Zelenz has worked in education for 20 years. Working with students from all walks of life, cultures, races, and social diversity, Zelenz’s research in Educational Leadership led to finding a better way to approach learning for students with trauma histories. Many were juvenile offenders, gang members, diagnosed with varying behavioral disorders, or had family histories of violence, murder, or narcissistic parenting. This research could not be effectively accomplished without further understanding: how epigenetic trauma inheritance may be impacting these students; how brain development from trauma may be impacting their behavioral and emotional development; as well as deep understanding of psychology and its varying classifications for behavioral and personality disorders. The goal is to find solutions for changing the conversation and making a real difference for these students. She has also worked with nonprofits of varying focus areas for the last 25 years. Her undergraduate degree in Arts Administration and Music prepared her for managing nonprofits of any size as well as procuring funding so that they can achieve their goals. Pairing her nonprofit background with her education background, she has been able to make a difference for over 200 nonprofits worldwide, written curriculum for schools across the globe, and assisted many arts organizations through performance and management.